Crafty Time

I've gotten to have the longest winter break of my life this year, and it's been great for crafting. I finished a crocheted afghan for my parents just in time for Christmas. I had been working on it slowly since October. It looks great with the living room colors!

Back in November when I was home, my grandma got me this really pretty burnt orange yarn at a specialty craft store. I left it in Kansas since I wouldn't have time to work with it before winter break. I decided to try a new stitch called a "brioche" stitch and I love how it turned out. I had just enough to do a double-wrap cowl. 

My other pride and joy this break has been my quilt. I just finished it today, and while there was no blood or sweat involved, there were definitely tears. I had many setbacks and frustrations along the way, but I'm glad to have the finished product. I picked out the fabric a long time ago and just never had the time to make it until now. Now I'm just hoping it doesn't all unravel as I use it. I strangely always fear everything I make is going to fall apart at the slightest touch. 

Laying out the squares

Up-close of machine quilting

I'm very proud of the mitered corners, even if this is the only one that actually looks right

The back is this cool handwriting fabric I found at IKEA. It's very writerly, I think :)

It's kind of hard to see, but this is the back binding that I hand stitched. You're not supposed to be able to tell the difference from the front binding that is sewn. 

I wish I could say I had a lot of fun making it, but I think I'll have more fun using it. 

I have also been getting into metal stamping lately. I have some of the basics to start stamping jewelry, so that will be my next big project. I'd like to possibly open an Etsy shop at some point, but I don't think I can commit to that yet because I still want to keep everything I make :p

Hypocrisy

     Being in a new environment where I seem to be in the minority with my beliefs has made me consider more critically just how hypocritical our society is. It seems in this day and age that, as a whole, our society frowns on and, more strongly, persecutes those who display intolerance of others, particularly through the use of stereotype. However, the general consensus appears to be that it is okay, even sometimes necessary, to stereotype and persecute Christians, as though they are responsible for the negative history surrounding them and will never be absolved of the crimes against humanity committed by their ancestors.
     It is not okay for a Christian to express their ideas about salvation because it could offend atheists and people of other religious persuasions; however, it is perfectly acceptable for a group of atheists to rag on Christians to their faces, diminishing their beliefs and calling their ideas "ignorant" and "idiotic" because "science is obviously the ultimate truth." How is this any different than a Christian stating they think an atheist is "going to hell" because they "don't believe in God"? How is this any different than a Christian saying that God's word is the ultimate truth? If you'd argue that it's different because atheists are right and Christians are wrong, then already you're feeding into the idea that it's okay for us to determine what is right and wrong and force that on each other. Since one of the most common "beefs" atheists have against Christians is that we go around telling people what is right and wrong (do I even need to point out what a stereotype this is?), I cannot understand why they think it's okay to essentially do the same thing back. Have you ever heard of an atheist being so negative about the Islamic religion? No, because it's not P.C. But somehow it's okay to do this to Christians.
     Our society values tolerance--tolerance of other religions, other lifestyles, other ethnicities, other backgrounds, etc. But it seems like this only applies to everyone except Christians. I feel that, on the whole, my beliefs are not tolerated by the community outside of my religion. When a Buddhist or Jew or Muslim says something like this, people are up in arms, pointing fingers and preaching tolerance. But somehow society thinks Christians deserve to feel this way because we're all lumped together with the Westboro Baptists and those extremists who stand on street corners with signs claiming God hates women and gay people. You're not allowed to assume all Muslims are terrorists--that's stereotyping--but you are allowed to assume all Christians are intolerant, radical, and delusional. No wonder some Christians preach their beliefs more than the idea of tolerance. Tolerance isn't being shown to them. Would you be so keen on tolerating people you disagree with if those people weren't tolerating you? Hm.
   During my first few weeks in the program, a group of us began having a conversation about the gay marriage debate. None of the Christians at the table voiced anti-gay marriage views. However, the atheists in the group managed to call Christians ignorant and even said something to the effect of "we've got science, fuckers" as a way of putting their beliefs above ours. I wish I would have asked them if they would ever say something like that to a group of Buddhists or Jews or Muslims. It immediately alienated everyone at the table with a different belief than theirs, which is really sad because we have to spend the next 2-3 years in the same program knowing there is an undercurrent of hatred directed at us. It may shock them to learn that I have close friends who consider themselves atheists or agnostic but still are respectful of my beliefs. It may shock them to learn that they aren't the only ones who have friends affected by the gay marriage debate. My best friend of 11 years is. You don't have to vote against gay marriage to be a Christian. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable expressing their beliefs without fear of hateful judgment.


   For the record, I do believe in tolerance, because I believe God is the ultimate judge of other people. I see tolerance as a huge aspect of the Christian faith and am saddened when those who misinterpret the Christian message are the ones who end up representing the church to outsiders. Many times Christians will bludgeon people over the head with ideas of fire and brimstone, and I think that's the wrong message to send. But I find a lot of what people say about my religion to be incredibly offensive, and I'm annoyed that it doesn't seem to matter that what they say is offending me. I'm done subscribing to the hypocrisy of this society, and the next time I'm in a situation where I feel persecuted or offended, I'm going to say so despite how uncomfortable that might make someone feel.

Video Blog

Since I moved here, I've been working on a video diary. I love compiling videos - to me, it's like a moving photo album, and it shows you so much more than photos can. I wanted to capture some of the scenery on the trails by my condo, as well as Horsetooth and my friends' visit last weekend. 

Wouldn't you know, when I went to finally put it all together it wasn't as simple as the other times. My computer's hard drive has recently filled up down to the last KB, so I have been experiencing some annoying issues. My external hard drive is way too small to accommodate anything beyond my time machine backups, so there is no moving photos or video off of my computer as of now. I uploaded my videos into iPhoto and deleted them off my phone because they uploaded successfully. However, when I went to move them into iMovie, the computer freaked out and scrambled nearly every video I took during my friends' visit, so that now they are all destroyed beyond repair. I cannot begin to describe how frustrating and devastating this was. 

I included the few videos that somehow did not get destroyed, but I am sad that so many of the good ones are now gone, and I had to fill the video with more scenery shots than I would have liked. We had a great time, though, and it was nice to have some familiar faces in town. Josh stayed in Denver with his brother the rest of the week, and Nick also moved to Denver this week so I got to go down there on Friday and Saturday and spend some time with them. Denver is such an easy drive from Fort Collins, and I hope it won't be my last trip down there. 

Opportunities

I have been trying to be conscious of finding opportunities and taking advantage of them lately. In the past, I have passed up opportunities because they required more work that I didn't think I could handle, and it always turned out that I could have handled it. I am lucky to have gotten to where I am regardless of the experiences I passed up, but I'm at the point where I need to be thinking about my future resume and what I want that to look like. Barely two weeks into the semester, I already have a great foundation of experiences that will lend themselves to my future application for a graduate teaching assistantship next year, as well as teaching applications outside of graduate school. 

1. Tutoring in the Writing Center: I will be working the maximum 10 hours/week in the writing center helping students with all types of writing and in all stages of the writing process. The other day, I was able to use the knowledge gained in my technical writing class at MSU to help a foreign exchange student improve his cover letter for his resume. I feel like this will turn out to be both a diverse and rewarding experience. 

2. Class: I am taking a class this semester that will help me learn how to teach creative writing. I will learn how to make a lesson plan as well as develop a teaching philosophy by the end of the semester. I'll get to audit a class and help teach/facilitate a workshop a couple times. Plus, our textbooks for the class are actually really handy books on craft that I think will help me as a writer as well as a teacher. 

3. Interning at the Colorado Review: This is turning out to be an amazing opportunity to learn the ins and outs of publishing, as well as technical editing. Not only do I get to review manuscripts for the journal, I also will have the opportunity to learn how to proofread, copy edit, and even how to use InDesign to design book covers. We get to be involved in the entire process of the creation of this issue of the Colorado Review, not just the reading manuscripts part. And it's something I can do for as many semesters as I'd like. 

4. Teaching Assistantship: I recently agreed to become a TA for one of the intermediate fiction workshops. The professor may split the class in half, in which case I would come in to every class for the second half of the semester and facilitate the workshop with half of the students (which would be awesome). If not, I would run a few of the classes in her absence while she is on a short book tour. Either way, she made it sound like it would set me up for a possible semester-long TA-ship with her next fall. She also seems like she would be a really good professor to work with. 

Needless to say, I am amazed at the opportunities inherent in a graduate program and am excited to get to take advantage of them. I feel like I've been doing tons of work this week because I am trying to not have any work over the weekend when my friends are here. Very excited to get to spend some time with some familiar faces!

Firsts

I thought I'd go ahead and give an update on a few "firsts" I experienced these past few days. 

First Bike Ride:

I went for a solid 8+ mile bike ride on Monday before class. I took the Spring Creek Trail behind my condo to where it meets up with the Poudre Trail (which isn't far at all). I discovered that, while you could ride the paved trails along one side of the river, you could also go around and get to the less-traveled dirt trails on the other side of the river. I loved these trails because they were quiet and I saw very few people. They were also fairly easy to ride on, so I didn't run into a bunch of extreme mountain bikers. In fact, I was the only one on a bike - the rest were walking. 

The dirt trail eventually met up again with the paved one, and from there I decided to see how I could get to downtown by taking the trails. It was pretty lengthy, but not too strenuous. I wouldn't do it if I was wanting to go out with friends because I'd arrive looking pretty sweaty, but I did do a little bit of shopping. Although, I was self-conscious of the fact that I was wearing a backpack and thought the shop owners might suspect it was for the purpose of stealing something. There was a lot of pretty scenery along the way. Unfortunately, from my understanding, these are not areas where you can fish :/

My other outdoor adventure happened this evening at Horsetooth Reservoir. It is the first time I have actually walked around Horsetooth and I loved it! Last night was my first fiction workshop (more about that later). Per tradition, the workshop reconvened afterward for drinks, and  I got to talking to another first-year in the program, Mandi, who also likes to hike and moved here from far away. We decided to check out Horsetooth this evening, but our plan to hike the actual mountain was ill-conceived: we figured if we just drove up into the reservoir it would be obvious where the trailhead was. Not so much. It's about a half-hour drive to the actual mountain, so we decided to save that for Friday when we could start earlier and be more prepared. Tonight, we just hiked along the dirt trails in the hills and then walked down to the beach. 

We took off our shoes and found that the sand kind of ends and there is this really thick mud, possibly clay. It sinks like quicksand if you try to wade into the water. Although it looks gross, it feels amazing - like really soft cookie dough. We did not pass by any people where we were. It was very quiet and peaceful listening to the water and watching the sun set. 

I have concluded that I need to really sit down and figure out the settings on my camera, because from the way my pictures turned out it was obvious that I'm not getting the most out of my camera. On the walk back to the car, we passed by some people fishing, and I later saw some nice bike trails and another lake. A lot of people were arriving when we left -- mostly bikers and some kayakers. We were very jealous of the kayaks and might look into renting some on Friday or going swimming. It was nice to have some company finally!

I have, as of now, attended all the classes I signed up for. The "peak" of my time here so far has been my outdoor adventures and my writing workshop. I am very excited to begin this class. My instructor is an older lady with tattoos and dreadlocks and is incredibly sweet and enthusiastic about writing and teaching. At the orientation, I talked to her about my week at Iowa and the independent/used bookstores I've been to and Amazon's frightening plot to monopolize the publishing industry. She was immediately easy to talk to and I already feel comfortable in her class (I even signed up to be workshopped first - next week). I have a history now of volunteering to go first because usually no one else wants to. I like going first because the group is so new that no one has had a chance yet to be comfortable tearing someone's story apart, and it gives me a chance to get one of the workshops out of the way so the rest of the semester looks more manageable. I am thrilled that she gave me the go-ahead to submit one of the stories I gave Colorado State for my application, as it has never appeared in a workshop before and I have only ever heard one person's opinion of it. I also love, love, love the room we are meeting in. It is what I always fantasized a workshop room to be like: all of us sitting around a conference table in a room full of books. And dark wood.

There is a "free book" table on the same floor where we meet. My assumption (and allegedly this may come true later in the semester) was that it would be just a bunch of reject novels, overstock stuff, maybe even Fabio romance novels. I was shocked to find it full of new and old literary journals - lots of Colorado Review, some I'd heard of before like Southern Review, Atlantic, Pleiades (Central MO State), and Missouri Review, and even some I hadn't heard of, like the Hawai'i review and some East Coast publications. I got very excited, my hands sort of shaking as I added more and more to my pile (I honestly would have taken the whole table if not for my shame). When I went to Iowa, I saw for the first time a bunch of literature journals in one place, and these you had to buy for, like, $8-15 apiece. I still can't believe I got this whole stack for free. They wouldn't all fit in my bag (yes, that's how bad it was), so I had to pedal the whole 2+ miles home one-handed with this stack of journals under my arm. It was worth it, though.

The pit of my week, I have to say, are my other two classes and Colorado State University. Coming from a perspective of having been involved in student affairs at Missouri State, I am very aware of the difference in the information provided to new students between the two schools. At MSU, there were signs everywhere pointing you in the right direction, informing you about things. You got letters in the mail explaining what to do when you got to campus, you were directed to specific places to collect information about the campus, about your classes, etc. Not here. I thought it was just the grad students that got shunned, but I've heard they haven't done a great job with undergrads, either. Everyone is lost. Many people ended up in the wrong classes these past couple days. The buildings, I've noticed, are not clearly marked - there is one spot on the building that clues you in to which one it is, and it is often kind of hard to find. I learned through word of mouth that you're not allowed to ride your bike on campus at CSU - you have to walk it once you get onto campus, which is extremely counterintuitive if you ask me. We had bike paths on campus at MSU, and it's about a fourth of the size. I also got chased down by a cop in a car for failing to stop at a stop sign on my bicycle. I tried to explain to him that I just moved here and I am not from a bike-friendly town, that I've never been somewhere that people bike as much as drive, and he continued to be accusatory and rude, and I was really flustered having all these people walk by and stare at us in the middle of the road. It just made me realize all the little things that would have been good to know as someone who is new to CSU/Fort Collins. Coming from a university that is extremely welcoming of new students, it makes me feel a bit betrayed that CSU hasn't stepped up with some info for those of us who know nothing about the university. I hate that I feel that way already about my school. 

I learned one of my classes will not count toward my degree. Upon examining the degree requirement notes, I noticed that at one point it tells you "At least 12 credits have to be 500-level or above", which sounds to me like some of them could be under 500-level. Then, later on, it says that ALL of them have to be 500-level or above, which explains my initial confusion. I looked over the schedule to see if anything else interested me, and I was once again reminded of how disappointed I am in this semester's classes. Most of the classes are internships (which can only fill degree requirements to a certain extent), classes on teaching (which you aren't supposed to take until year 2) and theory classes (yawn). I am trying to get an override to take a class on teaching creative writing. 

My other class, one of the few 500+-level literature classes offered this semester, was called "Crossing Boundaries in Literature" when I signed up for it. No description. Turns out, it is a class on colonial literature around the world - which, I'm sorry to say, are the two topics that interest me the least in reading (mostly because they will never, ever influence my writing). The pro is that this class is taking a more contemporary turn (most of the texts were written after the 1980s) yet it can still count for my requirement that I take a class on pre-20th-century literature. Pre-20th-century literature makes me want to cry, it is so boring to read. The con is that it is still about colonialism, still mostly international, there are two 10-page papers (I have a hard time writing 6-page papers), plus movies outside of class, huge reading loads, a couple presentations, and just all-around sounds like a very difficult class that I will be very, very uninterested in. I was thinking today about how I took at least 30 hours of literature classes as an undergrad, and really only one of them turned out to coincide with my personal writing interests. I would love to study contemporary American fiction or short fiction. I'd love to read literary texts that have been published in the last 20 years. I feel like I am always studying something that is entirely foreign to me or written way too long ago to influence my writing. Don't get me wrong, I have very much enjoyed some of these classes I've taken and have appreciated breaking the mold of what I usually read, but I have always felt at some point I would really get down to studying more contemporary American authors, texts that are more in tune with what I write or want to write. I wanted grad school to be more about pursuing my personal academic interests and it is turning out to be...not that way. 

Sorry to end this post with something negative. Looking forward to hopefully hiking Horsetooth mountain on Friday, beginning work with the Colorado Review on Friday, seeing my friends over Labor Day weekend, and starting work in the writing center next week (I get 10 hours/week this semester - yahoo!)

From JoCo to FoCo

I made the trip from JoCo (Johnson County, KS) to FoCo (yes, the locals refer to Fort Collins as FoCo - wasn't even my idea) last week, making it the longest road trip I have ever driven. It was strangely manageable - I guess because I just tried not to think of how far I had come and how far I had to go. We ended up stopping at one of the places we stopped at in the charter bus on the way to Steamboat earlier this year and it made me feel a little nostalgic. We went a lot slower since I had to keep the same pace as my dad, who was pulling the trailer. We've figured out that if you take advantage of the 75 mph speed limit most of the way (bumping it up to 80), you can make the drive in about 10-10.5 hours with all the stops included. 

I figured having a little over a week here before school started would allow for some relaxing downtime, but no such luck. I've been downtown once for about an hour and I have not yet had time to go hiking or even on a leisurely bike ride. We did acquire a fixie and a cruiser, though, so when you all come visit me we can ride bikes :)

We spent the entire week cleaning, buying furniture, assembling said furniture, and encountering just about every misfortune there is to encounter in the moving process. Thankfully, we had plenty of local craft beer to soothe the mood (I decided that the Chocolate Stout from Fort Collins Brewery is my new fave). 

To break up this novel a little bit, here are some pictures from the new place:

The pillow situation is in the works. I bought some inserts and plan on making the couch pillows myself. There is too much cute fabric at Joann and downtown not to! 

I really love the rustic modern look (think Crate & Barrel, West Elm) and was excited to have the chance to start from scratch decorating with pieces that are more my style. Most of the furniture is from Ikea or this great discount furniture mart we found not far from the condo. It was there that we discovered these awesome canvas prints of Colorado scenery that really helped bring nature into the design and get that "rustic" feel. This picture is the first thing you see when you come up the stairs from the entry. It somehow reminds me of fall fishing in the Ozarks/Springfield. 

My favorite aspect of the place is the bookshelves. For a long time I have wanted to properly display all my books and have them all in one room. Though they are not all on the same bookshelf, I think the way it turned out is cooler!

I have been developing an infatuation with chevron and ikat, and I really wanted some element of chevron to be in the room. I never imagined it would be in the form of a bookshelf. So cool. 

Here are some pictures of the kitchen. 

Some of you may know about my obsession with red kitchen things. I don't know why or how this started, but my love for the color red begins and ends in kitchens. This is the first time I have had a collection of red things out in my kitchen, and I love it. 

Missing from the above photo is my wonderful Bodum french press. I love their design in all of their presses, but especially this one because it comes in red. I tried to get a photo of my coffee setup this morning but I was struggling with the manual settings of my new camera (I sadly have forgotten a lot of what I learned in digital photo in high school outside of photoshop). I'm glad they sell local Denver coffee in bulk at Sam's. 

Here are some photos of the two patios off the kitchen and living room, as well as the little nook by the stairs in the kitchen. I've got lettuce, spinach, and basil out on the back patio. I had to cut and throw out the initial round because it wilted (I assume because it was already a bit wilty - hopefully I am not a plant-killer!)

Here is the dining table - perfect for the rustic modern look :) My mom can be credited with finding it. 

I love, love, love this little Swedish bowl my mom brought back from a relative. It was the first thing I got for the condo. It ties in perfectly with all the other Swedish furniture in this place :p

The guest room:

Awesome picture of Horsetooth Reservoir:

Re-purposed re-purposed table from the lake :)

This is my bathroom. It is absolutely enormous for just one person. The ridiculous thing is that I am using all of it. 

Last, but not least, my room. We had one hell of a time painting the textured walls, but I am so thankful my dad stuck it out with me, because I've wanted a gray room for so long. This is the amazing desk I found in the storage room of Ikea, just when I had figured I would never find the right desk. It has a large surface that is perfect for crafting, as well as attached storage that is also perfect for crafting. And I guess I will write here, too :)

A better shot of my desk lamp. Again, love that Ikea.

When I had given up all hope of finding a comfortable and stylish desk chair, I found this one for half price! Love the way it looks with the Colorado fourteeners art on the wall. 

 Proof that my closet is under control.

I love seeing the bedding I made in the context I intended it for. I am still working on the canvases on the wall, as you can probably tell.

My grandma gave me these cute little twigs with crystals on them, and I found the perfect vase for them at, you guessed it, Ikea.

I am loving living in a more mature-looking bedroom. I don't think anyone could say it "looks like the Easter Bunny threw up" in here :) 

I feel like this post is already long enough, so I will try to give a short version of my experience so far in Fort Collins. 

1) People really appreciate locally grown, organic produce here. I've seen this reflected not only in the grocery stores, but in restaurants and even fast-food chains. 

2) There are so many local places to shop and eat that are unique to Fort Collins. There also seems to be a great thrifting network that I am excited to explore soon. 

3) People do bike everywhere, but not all the roads are bike-friendly, especially on my route to campus. The trail is much longer than taking the sidewalks, but the sidewalks I take are barely as wide as my tires :/ Plus, there seems to be quite a bit of traffic along the route. 

4) I feel as though I am always lost. Pretty much every time I have tried to go somewhere, I end up going 90 degrees in the wrong direction, which baffles me. I feel like things are always shifting, and the mountains are never where I expect them to be. This morning, it took me 40 minutes to bike to campus because I went the wrong way, then backtracked and came upon a train that I had to wait 10 minutes for it to pass. Then I biked to Edwards Hall, which I thought was Eddy Hall (because at MO State, we nicknamed some of the buildings like that) but it was actually a dorm, and there is actually just an Eddy Hall, so I was 20 minutes late to my writing center training. Thankfully, no one was upset except me. 

5) I've noticed, at least from the sampling of people I have come into contact with in my program/orientations, that people here are from pretty far-flung places -- I've met more people who are not from Colorado than people who are. Several of them have just moved from out of state like me and don't know anyone, either, so that is comforting. 

6) I am dying to get out and see the trails and hike Horsetooth and test out my new camera. I wish I had more downtime before school starts on Monday. And a hiking buddy. 

7) I am looking forward to the day when I don't feel like my day ends when the sun goes down. There is only so much you can go out and do by yourself at night. And if you are a girl, that basically amounts to nothing. It is completely opposite from when I was living in Springfield and felt like the day really began at 8 o'clock at night. 

8) Coming into contact with a new group of writers has really made me appreciate my week at Iowa this summer and how easy it was to forge friendships with people who shared my passions and that were so immersed in the same experience as me. I loved the mornings I spent having coffee/breakfast at the coffee shop and writing or reading. I need to head downtown one of these mornings and relive that kind of experience. 

9) I am very excited to begin working with the Colorado Review. It is a national publication, so it does not accept submissions from students or faculty at CSU. Sad that I won't be able to submit, but I am glad that I will be working with a serious publication. I will even have the opportunity to do some proofreading/copy editing. It will be an amazing experience and a great resume builder. 

10) I am so looking forward to my visitors in a couple weeks -- Josh, Alyson, Hannah, and hopefully Lindsey! I can't wait to take them hiking at Horsetooth or Poudre Canyon and to the taproom at O'Dell's and New Belgium. And a couple weeks after that, I have more friends from the OG coming in for my birthday and The Head and the Heart concert, so September will be a busy and exciting month!

If you made it all the way to the end, I thank you for your patience :) I hope to make more frequent updates so I don't have to throw a hundred things into one!

P.S. Proof that I live here. I can't imagine I will be appearing in any pictures for awhile, so look forward to lots of pictures of Colorado scenery with no people in them! :)

- Abby